Dear God,
I thank You so so so much for this week.
You have made me really really really happy.
I thank You for my enlistment and vocation.
I thank You for blessing my finance.
I thank You so much.
And I know my week has not yet ended and I believe You will continue to bless me.

Thank You Lord. Amen

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. – John 15:13

I’m sorry Lord for falling from your grace.
Despite the warnings and signs ahead.
I’m sorry for falling into temptation.
Thank you for forgiving me.
Thank you for the state of grace I am in now
Thank you for dying for me
Thank you for even giving me the faith to believe that you are real
Sorry for questioning your existence
Thank you Lord for saving me

Without God, man could not
Without man, God would not

Starting last sat, by the end of service, I was feeling damn drained after returning home and I knocked out instantly

Sunday, I was so tired that I didn’t go for my usual weekend jog. And when a friend told me he was in hospital, God tested my love for compassion and without thinking, I rushed down to the hospital without the slight thought of not going. And God affirm me by telling me that is what love is like. Thank God for the new love

Monday was my CL oral exam. I usually have problems with my conversation. But amazingly, thank God that my mind was clear and the examiner was really impressed with me to the point they affirm me that I was doing a really good job.

Tuesday was the conflict with God. Takeaway point is to do his will and not mine. It’s painful, but I will go forth.

Wednesday was like a normal school day

Thursday night was also a blast. I’ll update with more details about what happened. But I was at my lowest point at night, and before I turned to God, I was seeking everyone’s help but no one was able to help me. I was angry, sad, desperate. But I prayed to God. And amazingly, God provided a solution. Thank God

Friday was a long day at school. It was horrible as I have a 4 hours break in between lessons. By the time I reached Far East and Botanic Gardens, I was already so drained that really, I needed the spirit to anoint me and help me through. And amazingly, I survived. But at the end of the night, when I was about to go home, I had another choice between doing what I want and God’s thing. In the end, I chose to do God’s thing and not only that, I subconsciously did it with a willing heart.

God’s key message to me this week
God: You do my will because you are suppose to, not because you expect some blessing from me whatsoever. The blessings I will decide. You do my will with the heart of wanting to do my will!

Takeaway point
1) Doing God’s will will always lead me to the right path in life
2) I do God’s will not because he promise to bless me, but because that is what is expected of me
3) God is slowly moulding my heart for a new love

And God, I thank you. Thank for for being there with me when I was tested. Thank you for filling my life this week, for picking me up when I fall. Thank you for the lessons this week. Thank you for your love. I have countless things to thank you for, and there are no words to describe how thankful I am. Thank you Lord. In Jesus most mighty name, Amen

Background:
It was 2pm++ and at 3.10pm, I was going to have a 1.5 hours break before the next extra GP lesson at 5.10pm. If all goes well, I will end school at 6.40pm. I was already contemplating not to go as I felt it was a waste of time. If i went of at 3.30, I would reach home at about 4.30pm. And if I were to go off at 6.40pm, I will most likely reach home nearing 8pm.

I was already at CWP, I bought breadtalk for dinner, and I was at the platform, reading a book. Coincidentally, it was titled “Hearing God’s Voice”. That was when I first heard God voice.

GOD: Son, go back to school now.

Me: Huh, really ah? God, I do not want to. Somemore I already in the MRT. Can you just overlook it this once?

God: No, do it.

Me: But God, just now you could have made your decision with that coin flip I made in class. Why now?

God: Just do it.

But still, I disobeyed, continued to read, and boarded the train.

God: GO TO SCHOOL! GO TO SCHOOL! GO TO SCHOOL!

YC: Really must ah? I’m already at reaching Yew Tee leh.

And suddenly, I felt a strong affirmation in my heart. I told God

YC: Ok Lord, if the song that is playing on my playlist is an even track on the play list, I will go back to school.

God: Done!

And it was song number 2 or 12, I can’t remember. And I took off to Woodlands again. I took bus 168 to the side gate and I was prepared to walk to the main gate. But it’s as if God wanted me to go back, that he sent a teacher with a card so that I can enter via the side gates.

YC: Thank you Lord

And at the end at 7pm ++ on the train, the Lord told me

God: Son, I want to tell you something today. When you do my will, I want you to do it unconditionally with love. I don’t want you to go around doing my will because you expect something from me.

And now, at 9.45pm, this is what I hear from God

God: Son, I’m proud of you. I’m proud that you chose to obey me, and even more glad with you when you did not get angry when I did not seem to bless you with anything. But son, I want you to know that what you’ve done, I am glad. I’m glad you chose to obey me. I love you and I’ll always be with you.

And I remember 2 classmates making a comment. It went,
“Hey, they skip lesson because God told them to.”

My quiet response
“I’m here for lesson because God told me to!”

And my prayer to God:

Dear God, thank you for speaking to me. Thank you for making your voice so clear to me. God, may I pray that today as I sleep, will you forgive me for that moment of disobedience? I’m sorry that I ever disobeyed you. And I thank you for the many second chances you gave me. And thank you for not stopping until I repented. To anyone who reads this, I pray that they will see you working through me. Lord, I will do your will even if it doesn’t seem to be of interest to me. Lord, help me keep to that promise. I thank you Lord. In your most mighty mighty mighty mighty mighty NAME, AMEN!!!

But I know that what matters is said

I really want to worship you my Lord
You have won my heart and I am yours
Forever and ever
I will Love you

You are the only one who died for me
Gave your life to set me free
So I lift my voice to you
In adoration

God: YC, I want you to delete most of your downloaded stuff on your computer. That include your music and downloads.
YC: But God, I find it very difficult. Can you give me some time to delete?
God: You may do so, but then, you will fall short of my glory. Not because I’ve removed or taken them from you, but rather, your sin have kept me away from you.
YC: I’ll try.

When I was helping a friend doing some data logging.

YC: God, I know that one of the way you speak to me is via lots. So God, if I look at the time, and it is an even number, Lord I will delete most of my downloaded stuff.
God: *Sets the time to 7.12pm*
YC: Wah Lord, serious bo?
God: I am serious!

But I decided not to obey God. And for some unknown reason, I felt very very sad. I asked the lord to give me more time. But no answer.

This morning, when I woke up, before I went to shower, I just decided to by faith delete all the downloaded stuff. And as I delete, I felt God’s blessings on me.

God: Ok, the rest of them which, I’ll allow you to keep. But make sure you buy the album. Every month you can afford to buy 2 album. So just do it.
YC:

And from there, I felt blessed throughout. I found a new joy in my life

YC: Dear God, thank you for forgiving me of my sins. I’m sorry to have found conflict with you. I thank you for freeing me of this sin, this sin which I feel was so hard to break. I pray that I’ll come back to you. I want to be in your presence. I thank you Lord. Amen

1 Corinthians 13 says:
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

This is for you. I asked Paul to write it for you thousand years back. May you have a new love today, a heart full of love. Forget your perceptions of love before and come back to me relearning love again. I love you. Enjoy the rest of your train ride home “

I don’t have anything to say to you Lord. All I need to say to you is all in this song.
Relearn Love – Scott Stapp

On a dark and lonely highway
I need the Son to raise my head
I come before you, I am naked…
The man I am now must be shed
I’ve weathered storms and I am broken
My beaten heart is in your hands
What I really need is shelter
And a chance to relearn love

Teach me all over, all over
To relearn love
Show me again…
So I can relearn love

The comfort of your arms around me
Your tender hands caress my head
I lay beside you I’m not worthy
This jaded man’s not who I am
I touched the flame and I’ve been burned
All I need’s a second chance
Give me eyes of a child
And teach this man to relearn love

Teach me all over, all over
To relearn love
Show me again…

To relearn love
Teach me all over, all over
To relearn love
Show me again…

So I can relearn love

I was selfish, but you still love me
You gave the greatest gift of all
And it set me free

When time means nothing
And your world is standing still
Listen world he’s calling
When you feel me drop and kneel

Can you feel it?
Just remember
Oh remember
…to relearn love

(to relearn love) (show me again) (to relearn love)

Relearn my love (teach me all over, all over)
Show me, show me to relearn my love (to relearn my love, show me again)
Teach me now, now, teach me all over (relearn my love)
To relearn, relearn my love
So I can relearn love

AMEN

“I did not tell you to go forth into this world alone to do my will. Haven’t you heard me call out to you, telling you I’m behind you, that I’ve always got your back covered? I’ll be there whenever you fall. I’ll pick you up, and I’ll make you even stronger than before in faith! Remember, even if the world forsakes you, even if your cell leaves you, I will NEVER leave you. Remember, my name is Immanuʼel, but more than that, I’m with you. Give me that lonely heart that is in you and I’ll replace it with a new heart of compassion. 我爱你 “

And I decided to craft a message in a form of the poem.

Thank you for being there for me.
Despite me thinking it was you who forsaken I
When I didn’t open my heart
With all my heart I pray for forgiveness

With all I am
I give myself to you
You gave me everything
When everything I seemed not to have

Even when I ran far away,
Away did YOU not went.
As I went YOU overtook me,
Overtook my HEART from there YOU did

Your arms open wide
Wide open to receive me
Received YOUR love have I
I love you Jesus, LOVER of my soul

In your most mighty name, AMEN!!!

Selah

And I heard God said:
“Son, why do you think of them as late? Did I think you were late when you received me? Did I tell you that it was to late and you could not be saved? Before there was you, I was already waiting for you. I was screaming to you, hoping you will hear my voice and come back to me. So son, next time whenever people are late with their appointment, why not use it as an opportunity to spent time with me? I’ve got so much to say to you. Just like how you’ve got so much to say to me. So next time, instead of getting angry with them, why not look at the brighter side of life? And even if you must get angry, remember this.

Ephesians 4:26 – In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down when you are angry.

And son, because you have not lost your temper and resisted temptation of anger, I will bless your night.”

And I had a blessed night.
My flu was gone,
I was feeling so much more blessed
I forgot about my anger

Selah

And God said:
“See! I told you so “

And my simple 1 liner prayer to God:
“God, thank you for answering me when I called out to You. Amen!”